His Proof
by Mikkal
Summary: His proof. His only proof that he actually belonged with a family, actually had brothers...and it was gone.  Oneshot. /rated for a little bit of language/


Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I _do not and I never will _own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow.

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><p>His Proof<p>

Mikkal

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><p>He fiddled with the ring on his right hand, twisting it around his finger in a mindless pace. The outside of the silver band was plain and smooth, but it was the underside that mattered the most.<p>

His mom always gushed about how words close the body ment more than any other kind. And these words...these words meant more either way.

_L.C.J.K We're Gonna Go BIG TIME!_

There were three other like his. His mom got them at the six month mark of Big Time Rush and they were received with touched hearts and embarrassed faces.

They wore them though. He, Carlos, and James chose to wear theirs on their right hand's ring fingers while Logan wore his on a chain around his neck.

It hadn't always been like that. They didn't start wearing them until a few weeks ago, Logan was the only one who wore his the whole time.

Kendall dropped his hands and clenched them into fists.

This. Wasn't. Fair.

Tears welled up but didn't fall as he gazed at the pale teen surrounded by machines, a nasal cannula sending fresh oxygen to his lungs.

Anger coursed through Kendall's veins at the sight of his best friend. Logan's eyes may be closed like he was sleeping peacefully, however, it was everything but. His face twitched in the throws of a nightmare, the bruises on his cheek and forehead jumping. Red blossomed from his lips as he gnawed on them even more, but there was no real way to stop him.

More bruises litter his body under the sheets and blue gown, but the thing that turned his anger into rage was the livid red line encircling the younger teen's neck.

His ring was no longer around his neck, some _asshole_ tore it off when he and a dude jumped the small singer and mugged him. Kendall couldn't imagine how Logan was going to feel when he woke up. There would be more guilt and panic than pain in those chocolate brown eyes.

Logan sobbed and clutched the white sheets in his hands, head twisting to ward off the attackers only in his head. Seconds later he fell silent, but the nightmare was still on his face.

Carlos whimpered and curled tighter in the uncomfortable hospital chair, James put a soothing hand on his helmet covered head while he ran his lucky comb through his hair.

"He's going to be okay, right?" The youngest teen asked in a hoarse whisper, looking to their leader for guidance.

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, he's going to be perfectly fine..." Hopefully.

It wasn't every day your best friend ended up in the hospital like this, especially Logan. He was the one who ended up in the hospital the _least—_which was surprising considering who his friends were you'd think they'd all end up there the same amount (minus Carlos, he was the crazy one).

"They took his ring," James muttered, shoving his comb away and taking a spot next to Logan so he could smooth rave hair out of his face. "He's going to be devastated."

"We'll get him a new one," Carlos said firmly.

Kendall sighed and shook his head. "It won't be the same Carlitos."

He frowned. "Why not?" It really didn't make sense to him...It was a ring, who cares if you lost one...you could just replace—Realization dawned. "Because it wouldn't be from the same set, right? His will be different."

The tallest teen nodded from where he was kneeling. "Yeah. I'm afraid so."

Logan groaned, sending them all into action. It was first noise he made other than a sob or a whimper or small little cries of pain. All three of them hovered around his bed as chocolate brown eyes fluttered open and looked at them dazed.

"Gu—" He tried, but it came out in a croak, a burning sensation lining his throat like white fire. His eyes squeezed shut and a trembling hand massaged his temple, hissing in pain. "Guys," he rasped after drinking the cool water Carlos handed him. "What happened?"

James heart throbbed painfully. "You," he swallowed thickly. "You don't remember?"

Logan hated that he made James tear up, guilt worming it's way up his chest, but he couldn't help it. He shook his head mutely. "I...I remember hanging up my phone and then...some guys? Two of them?" A surge of pain spiked in his stomach. "They...hit me with a bat...in the stomach?"

They did a lot more than a simple hit to the middle, it was a beating like no other.

"Yeah," Kendall took his other hand, careful of the brace around his wrist. "The guys got caught, the stupid idiots. And you...you should make a full recovery." Minus a few new scars marring his body.

"Good." Logan sighed and reach down from his head to grab his necklace, there was nothing but empty air. Panic replaced the guilt, and it was much stronger. "Wh-Where's my necklace?" His breathing got a little shallower, a little shorter. "Guys, where's my necklace?"

James suppressed a sob and pulled the younger teen's hand away from his search. "One of the guys tore it from your neck, that's why it hurts so much. You're probably gonna...gonna scar." He leaned his forehead on that slender hand. "Logie, we don't...know where it is. It's gone."

He stared at them with wide eyes, looking so much like a lost puppy it hurt. "Wh-What?" And then the tears started to fall. "Ar-Are you sure? 'Cause the hospital could've taken it. Or...Or one of you guys...and you just forgot about it...or maybe...maybe..." he sobbed, tearing his hand away from James to clamp over his mouth to muffle the noises. "You've gotta be kidding me," he whimpered.

"Shh, shh," Kendall tried to sooth. "We'll fix this."

"How?" Logan curled away from him, bringing his knees up and ignoring the pain. "How can you fix this?"

"I," he struggled...He really didn't know. For one of the first times ever Kendall had no idea how to fix this. "I don't know," he finally said, truthfully.

Logan buried his face in his pillow and hugged it. "I wanna go home," he mumbled.

Carlos brushed the back of his head, running his fingers through raven locks. "'Home' as in Palm Woods or Minnesota?" The answer was never clear when it came to the pale teen.

"Palm Woods."

The two older boys let out sighs of relief, fearing the same thing Carlos had.

James nodded, "Okay, Logie. I'll go take to the doctor about it. We should've called him in as soon as you woke up anyway." He went up and squeezed the back of his friend's neck. "We'll get you home."

An awkward silence followed him leaving, an awkward silence that hardly ever found it's way in the presence of any of the guys when they were together.

Everything was seriously screwed up.

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><p>A Couple Weeks Ago<p>

Logan leaned over to pick up his fallen book, a chain falling from under his shirt. Light green eyes widened when Kendall spotted a very familiar silver ring dangling from the links.

He, himself, had one just like it; only, it was tied to the laces of the hockey skates he didn't—_couldn't_-use anymore due to no time. James kept his in a little case on his nightstand while Carlos tucked his in a picture frame with his family portrait.

They didn't actually wear theirs...so why did Logan?

"Hey Logan?" James broke his thoughts, seeing the same thing he was seeing.

The younger teen's head shot up from his book. "Yeah? What is it?"

He reached over a slid the ring over a tan finger, making eye contact so hazel met chocolate brown. "What's this?"

Logan's face burned a bright red, his book slipped from his hands as slender fingers fumbled to hide the ring back under his shirt. "No-Nothing," he stammered.

Kendall shook his head. "It's not nothing." A small smirk came to his lips as he exchanged amused glances with James. "That's the ring mom gave us."

Amazingly, his face grew even darker. "So what if it is?" He inched his way out of his seat and closer to the room he and Kendall shared.

James gripped his shoulder to stop him. "Why are you wearing it?"

He ripped away from his friend, a hint of anger flashing across his face. "What? Am I not allowed to wear it? Rings are meant to be worn, especially if they're gifts!"

A small amount of guilt made itself known in Kendall's chest. Logan had this weird ability to bring out the guilt you should be feeling but don't know it and wasn't feeling it. But the slighter teen was right; he could remember the hurt look on his mom's face when they weren't wearing the rings the next day.

"Okay, okay," the tall blonde tried to appease him. "Better question: Why are you wearing it around your neck?"

Was...was Logan _glaring _at them?

"Rings on fingers bring unwanted questions." Yes, yes he was glaring at them. "I still get to wear it but no one sees it."

"You're lying," James said suddenly, eyes narrowing. He knew Logan well enough to see the uncomfortable shift he did when he said that.

The pale teen went wide-eyed, innocent and cute. "Am I?"

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "You think that's really going to work?"

He went slack. "I didn't think so," he mumbled. His hand came up and fiddled with the ring he now pulled out of his shirt. "What are the chances we can forget this ever happened and let me wear it without feeling embarrassed?"

"Slim to none, more none than slim," James said simply, but he could see how much this bothered his younger friend. It hurt him a little, to know that he was _that _uncomfortable to tell them a secret when before this whole BTR thing they told each other everything.

Had their friendship really become like this? Where even _Logan_ was keeping secrets?

"You can tell us anything, Logie," Kendall said. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You know it won't change anything."

He bit his lip and worried it between his teeth. "I don't know."

James was ready to beg. "Please?"

Logan adverted his eyes, playing with the ring frantically. "It's..." he took a deep breath. "It's closer to my heart this way," he murmured, if he was blushing before now he was on fire. "We're best friends, brothers. You've been there for me every time I needed you, I just figured..."

And now Kendall felt even guiltier for forcing his friend to spill something as personal as that. James backed away, his hands falling to clasp together behind his back, and his teeth coming to bite the inside of his cheek. His ran a quick hand through his hair before it went back to where it was before.

"Sorry Logan," the brunette mumbled. "I didn't mean to pry like that."

He still didn't make eye contact with either of them, the same Logan who always made eye contact with the ones he trusted. What...What did that mean for them?

Logan bit his lip, gnawing at it thoughtfully. "It's okay. I know you didn't." He rubbed the back of his neck. He jerked a thumb towards the room he shared with Kendall. "I'm just...going to go read."

The guys could only watch as he walked away, clicking the door shut softly behind him.

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><p>Present Time:<p>

The hot water washed over his body, stinging the small cuts he had but it soothed his twisted wrist and multiple bruises... He sat under the spray, legs pulled to his chest and head resting on his knees. Logan kept his eyes closed and breathed through his mouth to keep himself from choking on water and to keep himself calm.

It was pathetic, him freaking out over a stupid ring...but he couldn't help it.

That hunk of metal was his proof that he belong somewhere because even after being friends with the guys for _years _he still felt out of place. He was just so different from them.

Carlos was funny and daring, James was confident and talented, and Kendall was easy going and cool. No one wouldn't _not _want to be their friends. They were popular, jocks, outgoing, fun-loving, and _cool. _That's why it was such a surprise Logan became friends with them.

Even with the whole Big Time Rush thing, it never felt like the fans loved him as well. People freaked over James whenever he flashed them a smile, girls always thought Kendall was singing to them, and fans gushed every time Carlos did something stupid because it made him cute.

What did he have? He was a nerd. Scared of everything to the point he even flinched away from his friends some times, didn't take risks, couldn't sing, couldn't dance, wasn't as good looking as the others, couldn't approach girls to save his life (except for Camille, but come on dude, it's _Camille_).

His hand snaked up to feel the empty space again, tears stinging his eyes. His only proof...and it was gone.

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><p>"What are we going to do?" James asked, he leaned against the bathroom door and heard a faint sob over the water. It broke his heart to know it was Logan. "I mean. He's completely broken. I didn't know he care this much about his ring."<p>

Kendall pinched the bridge of his nose. "Apparently he does."

"What are we going to do?" Carlos brought his legs closer and hugged them tightly. "We can't get him a new one and we can't find the old one, either way this is so screwed up."

The brunette ran a hand through his hair worriedly. "My question is: _Why_ does he care so much? I know why he kept it...near his heart." Guilt found him again, just like when he learned the truth only a few weeks ago. "But why is it so important?"

Kendall sighed. "We may never know."

The shower turned off and there was the faint sound of the curtain being pulled back. They didn't even bother moving, knowing Logan brought clothes in there with him and knew they were out there—waiting and being overprotective, as usual.

Three sets of eyes watched Logan come out of the bathroom, wearing loose sweat pants and a Tee Shirt that said _Nerds Rule, Jocks Drool_. Something Carlos got him years ago. His eyes were red and puffy and he was four shades whiter than usual, not even the heat from the shower put a blush on his cheeks.

But he didn't look sad, he looked...closed off. He glanced at his friends before turning and heading to his and Kendall's room, they stumbled after him like uncoordinated puppies.

"You know, you don't have to keep following me," he said, voice chilly. "I can take care of myself."

Despite the fact he was freaking out about missing his proof of belonging with the guys he was actually pushing them away when he truly needed them the most.

"We know!" Carlos forced the happy tone. "What, we can't hang out with our best friend?"

For some reason, that earned a glare from him. "Yeah, well. This best friend doesn't really want to hang out with people right now. Can you just let me read in peace?"

Kendall, recognizing the frozen tone (and getting colder every second), patted Carlos' back to let him know it would be best to leave now. James took one last look at Logan before following them out.

Logan didn't pick up his book when they left, instead he sat on his bed with his head in his hands. Ignoring the pain in his wrist he pressed the palm of his hands against his eyes and, ignoring the pain in his stomach, he curled over so his elbows rested on his knees.

He didn't cry, he didn't make a noise, but his shoulders trembled and shook. He threw his face into his pillow and screamed as loud as he could.

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><p>Kendall whirled around and burst into the room to find Logan sobbing into his pillow, the least of what he expected. He expected him to be completely freaking out, if that muffled, yet pretty loud, scream meant anything.<p>

But who says he wasn't freaking out?

"Logan," he pleaded. "Let us help you."

He just shook his head. "I'm fine," he said into his pillow. "Just give me a little while. I'll be fine."

"Bullcrap," James burst out. "Logan, there's something wrong and us, as your brothers, want to help."

"That's just it!" Logan shot up and glared at them, but it wasn't an angry glare. There was sadness flooding his brown eyes. "You guys aren't my brothers!" Before the hurt he caused even registered he covered his eyes. "You guys _can't_ be my brothers," he cried. "You guys are so much better than me in so many ways and the only proof I had that I was actually a part of this family was...was _stolen_!"

It felt like someone kicked him in the stomach. "Logan...how can you think that?" Carlos asked pathetically. "How can you thing that a...a _ring _proves you're our brother? You've been our brother since you moved to Minnesota, we don't need a ring to tell us that."

The little control he had was wavering dangerously. "But it's just...I'm so different than you guys. You're popular and cool and risk takers and stronger and talented and...and I'm _not_. I'm the nerd, the weakling. I can't amount to you guys."

"Logan," James said. He sat down next to him and pulled him into a hand, running a hand through his raven colored locks. "You don't need to amount to us, you're you and you're perfect the way you are."

Kendall nodded rapidly. "I couldn't have said it better myself. Logan, you may be a nerd but you're what we call an "awesome nerd." You're smart but you don't flaunt it like a jerk and you help us all the time, we'd either be failing school or dead because one of our plans didn't work."

Logan flushed pink, finally putting some color on his cheeks. "True."

"And you're not weak," he said firmly. "You're the fastest hockey player I know, and I don't know any weakling who can do the gymnastic moves you do. You're a risk taker by just being our friend." That earned a smile from the pale boy. "And do you know how popular you are? Dude, the Jennifers have looked at you more than one, Camille's after you, and your fan mail is almost as high as James'."

"But," Logan tried.

"No." Kendall placed a finger over his lips. "No buts. Logan, you're our brother, and no ring needs to tell you that. You're just as much a part of this family as any of us."

Tears filled his eyes and fell down his cheeks. Logan sniffled and hugged his blond friend around the middle, sobs shaking his body. But they, for the most part, weren't tears of sorrow, but of joy.

He still had a long way before he was fully mended, but he was well on his way.

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><p>Two Days Later:<p>

Carlos watched with a stinging heart as Logan mindlessly reached for his necklace that wasn't there. He still thought it was there and there was always this...hurting look in his eye when he realized it wasn't. All he wanted to do was fix this mess, make Logan better again.

But he couldn't, and he knew that.

Instead, he opting for making it a bit better and wrapping an arm around the pale teen as he read _Jurassic Park_. Carlos read over his shoulder, always wondering how different the movie was from the book, and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Can they really do that?" The younger teen asked, point at a block of seemingly random letters in the book. "Mess with DNA like that?"

Logan shrugged. "Technically, yeah, but it's kind of hard to make it practical. You can put in the computer all you want, but actually making something of it is kinda hard."

"Oh."

And they went back to reading. Carlos asked a question every now and then, glad when, with each question asked and answered, Logan reached for his missing necklace less and less.

The guys still wore theirs, Logan refused to let them take them off. He said that they're still gifts and they should wear them.

"Knock, knock," Kendall said. He hopped over the back of the couch and swung an arm over Logan's shoulders, crossing over Carlos'.

"Hey." Logan shut his book and tossed it on the table. "Where were you guys?" He looked up at James who was standing in front of them with a wide smile on his face. "What's with the smile? It's kinda creepy."

"We have a present for you!" James sang happily.

He raised an eyebrow. "A present?"

Kendall poked his cheek. "Yes, a present. And when you open it let us explain before you say anything."

James held out a silver jewelry box, a blue bow messily tied on top. Logan took it with shaking hands and undid it, he opened the box and just stared.

"Ah good," James said almost smugly. "You listened. This isn't a new one," he said, voice switching from smug to gentle. "Kendall and I paid a visit to the police station and asked if any of the stuff the jerks stole was available to be taken back yet. After we proved it was ours." Kendall pointed at his ring for emphasis. "Well, the rest is currently present stuff." He smiled at his friend.

Kendall squeezed his shoulder. "Even though you don't need the "family proof," you like the ring so we made sure to get _your _ring."

His eyes shined as he looked at all of his friends—_brothers—_with love and respect. "Thank you," he said, voice dripping with emotions.

James leaned down and hugged him tightly. "Anything for you," he whispered in his ear.

The other two echoed his words without saying anything, but by just leaning to engulf them both. Logan smiled brightly and held on, his necklace chain tangled between his fingers.

He had his proof back, but, then again, his proof was always already here.


End file.
